My essay for a HTC Evo from Sprint
I have to do *everything* fast! I've got a full-time job, a wife with a career of her own, three kids, and aspirations of being a writer and a game designer. I barely have time to get the laundry done, let alone rule the world.
Yeah, sorry for the last few years. When I took over ruling the world from Evil Overlord Mortimer Dribbles, I thought I'd be able to keep up with the maintenance. Do you know how hard it is to rule the world? I thought that the fake governments would sorta work on autopilot and it would be a simple job of dastardly schemes and occasional bouts of maniacal laughter. Ruling the world takes *work*. (By the way, while I’ll fess up to the financial crisis, I’m *not* to blame for 9/11, the Iraq War, or the Shrub. Lay that mess at Morty’s feet.)
But I promise, once I get a HTC Evo on Sprint’s 4G network, I’ll take a much more hands-on approach to ruling the world. With the front-facing camera, I’ll be able to record messages to the unwashed masses. With the high-speed internet connection, I’ll be able to remotely monitor my volcano-based lair in real-time and keep better tabs on all the puppets I’ve got in place around the world.
It won’t help with the laundry, though. Hrm… maybe the lazer-sharks can do that for me.
